For those of you playing along at home, this has been fixed. Used an identical drive but instead formatted as HFS+ rather than ExFAT (drive came that way and I didn't notice until it was in use - didn't think it would make a difference). Backup took only 97 minutes, and VM was never unresponsive. Thanks to Wil for persevering and suggesting this fix. I now have a viable backup! Apparently the lesson here is don't use ExFAT!
Can't get backups to run
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